Been drinking a crap load of tea, pretending to be healthy before I get shit faced.
First time I got drunk was when I was 17 and it was at my friend's acreage. Her mom laughed at me because I got overly emotional and started crying and talking to myself. I miss that, it was a secret event. We'd get together for something like a birthday or the end of finals and get drunk. I miss the freedom to just run amok in her mom's back yard and not fear getting raped or killed in an alley. Overall I miss the talks we had around the campfire and dizzying laughter. Now we're split between two cities and all of my friends are making new friends, moving on and getting somewhere. And here I am, pathetic as ever. I used to be okay with the idea of being alone, used to bask in the freedom it granted me. Now I care too much about the opinions of others and yearn just having someone there.
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