Februaury 12, 2014

Been drinking a crap load of tea, pretending to be healthy before I get shit faced.

First time I got drunk was when I was 17 and it was at my friend's acreage. Her mom laughed at me because I got overly emotional and started crying and talking to myself. I miss that, it was a secret event. We'd get together for something like a birthday or the end of finals and get drunk. I miss the freedom to just run amok in her mom's back yard and not fear getting raped or killed in an alley. Overall I miss the talks we had around the campfire and dizzying laughter. Now we're split between two cities and all of my friends are making new friends, moving on and getting somewhere. And here I am, pathetic as ever. I used to be okay with the idea of being alone, used to bask in the freedom it granted me. Now I care too much about the opinions of others and yearn just having someone there. 

February 4, 2014

Woke up twice last night, but managed 9 hours of sleep. Woke up at 8AM, made coffee and and two bowls of cereal. Got study plans at 5pm.
So I've accomplished

• Waking up before noon
• Ate breakfast
• Requested a new health card
• Took vitamins
• Put mattress back into bedroom

So yeah, its been overly productive for me today. Strange. Despite having moments of drowsiness I feel okay about today.

January 29, 2014

I drank some rum last night to help me sleep, sleeping pills aren't just cutting it anymore. I got the stuff off a sales rack, and god was it gross. Helped me sleep though.
My mom called me today, suggested making a schedule. I read somewhere that it does help, so I'll try it out. Waking up nowadays is a pain and struggle but in this day and age what isn't? I also had that interview yesterday for McDonalds, hope I get it. I mean I felt like puking through it all but still, a job and some semblance of order in my life would help right?
I also realized I never answer the phone anymore.